Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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