i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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