YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
