She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize