You can't motorboat a personality
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
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