Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
