booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize