Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad

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(806): View more from Texas

How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?

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(574): View more from Indiana

So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.

(574): View more from Indiana

Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.

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(503): View more from Oregon

this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"

(541): View more from Oregon

dude.

(503): View more from Oregon

yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week

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(952): View more from Minnesota

So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets

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