So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
