This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
