Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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