what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
