Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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