gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
