I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
