she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Vodka?
Forever.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
