That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
