If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
