he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
