Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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