just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
