But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
