I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
