1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
we have pet lesbian snakes
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
