Only a mothe r could love this liver
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
