The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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