so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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