bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
