I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
