I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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