I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize