i think my tv is drunk
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
