i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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