so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
