I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
