I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
