you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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