I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
