The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
