My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
