i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
