would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
