marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize