I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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