I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
