Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
