i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
