Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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