So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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