just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize