It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
