so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
