So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
