i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Floor bacon is actually really good
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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