we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
