"it" just moved
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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