dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
