my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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