you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize