What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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