Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
