Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
